ORANGE SANDALWOOD

ORANGE SANDALWOOD

12/03/2010

HOPEFUL CASTAWAY


The sun is down and my mind (not my head) aches. It feels too long a journey. I realize I've been following my steps all along, without ever asking the owner what he wants.

I'm a weary walker. My head turns back in search for signs: "where have you been so far?"... "could you even guess where you go?"..."was it so all-important?"... Hey, have you moved at all?

I just see the dusty road ahead, and suddenly want to become the road, to stop walking and rather be walked, to open myself into tributary roads, rather than having to decide which one to take. I long to become my own way, to merge into my own path, to be me. From that moment on I am certain all my walking will be serene and happy.

One of these days, I'll wait until the sun is well up there. Then I'll be quiet and still. There will be something like and eclipse, only it will happen within me and nobody will see it, not even with special sunglasses. I'm not sure how it will be, so I hardly can describe it. But I know there will be a clash of light and dark, a shadowy area that will be flooded with light. I know I will feel the warmth I miss now.

I know I will be smiling, vibrating, radiant. As if rescued by myself, the Former Castaway.  

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